Also, this comes nowhere close to thanking the people and the things that have made 2009 such an incredible year in the way they deserve to be thanked. But it’s a start.

My Family – I don’t actually need to write you here, because you’ll hear the real version. But thank you.

HPA Members, Chapters, and Staff - You all amaze me. Every time I talk to you or check my email or read about what you’re doing, my heart gives a little jump because I feel so honored and grateful to be a part of this. I hope you all know how much of an impact you’re having on the world. Chapters especially, you all give me hope in the world that we are creating. Thank you for being a part of my life, and working so hard to make the projects we envision together come to life. Also, staff, thank you for making me laugh loudly and frequently.

North Carolina Wizards – oh, wow. It’s a hard one to write, because I’d much rather just hug you all. You make life interesting, exciting, and above all, very very happy. Thank you.

UNC – (I’m so used to writing it for radio I put it in as U-N-C the first time) You house some of the best professors and friends I’ve met. Thank you for letting me, keeping me around, and making me very unsure of what I want to do with my life. You’re pushing me to be the best Karen I can be (that reference was just for dad).

Sababa – ooooh what a day! We have a CD! And went to Charlotte (thank you for making that trek and making my family happy). Seriously, you all are responsible for many of my favorite moments each week. Let us KEEP singing songs for the peaceing of the world.

New Yorkers – Thank you for making me feel welcome in your city, and feeding me hot dogs and nuts for an absurdly low price. Also, thank you for student theater discount tickets. And people of NYC (The ones I got close to), thank you for feeding me, teaching me how to use the subways, hanging out with me, and putting up with my crazy and mistyped texting.

Everyone at STAND, Mass Equality, and the other partner organizations I’ve gotten to work with: I am in awe of the work you do. Thank you for letting me a part of it.

Bus 790 and Birthright Israel – Wow, folks. What a trip. What a quest, even. Thank you for the memories, the experiences, and keeping in touch when we got back. Let’s do it again. (also, I finally got some of my pictures printed. Last week. Finally).

Leakycon 2009 Staff and Attendees – You changed my life in ways I still don’t quite know how to say in words. THank you for planning it. Thank you for helping me get there (also, to the HPA Board, thank you for this and so many other things that you do). And Andrew and Kate, thank you for letting me plan and putting up with my overly-thought out plans.

Journalism folks – I have learned so much, about news and about what I want to do. Thank you for teaching me and helping me learn and letting me work on some very memorable stories.

The Ace Gang – You make me happy. I’m very happy I got to live with 2/3 of you for some amount of time this year. Anna…you’re next!!

The Roommate – oh god, where to start. thank you thank you a thousand times, thank you.

Nanowrimo writers and OLL staff – You are prominent in all of my Thanksgiving thanks becuase I’m either done and grateful for the accomplished feeling, or struggling to finish and grateful for your inspiration. Thanks for making the last 4 thanksgivings memorable. This on’e shaping up the same way.

People who Donate Money to Good Causes – It is needed and appreciated in ways you can’t imagine. Thank you for making it possible for me to do the work I want to do.

The Individuals – You know who you are. This is me saying thank you for everything.

Last night, Nicholas Nickleby Parts I and II opened. I’m the sound board op for Part II, which means I’ve spent most waking minutes of the past week in tech rehearsals. Today is the Fall Showcase for Blank Canvas (meaning I’m spending the whole day in the theater for morning tech, afternoon dress, and evening performance). I get the week off for Thanksgiving, and then it’s back for Nicholas Nickleby (Part I and Part II are in rotating rep, which is what makes the schedule weird), a Sababa gig in Memorial Hall Monday night, an ITC scene Tuesday morning, and more Nickleby. (I’ve also got to write two twelve page papers in there).

I have the privilege of playing many different roles in each of these performances. Sing, Dance, Act, and Tech, for audiences as small as 50 and as big as (gulp) 1,000. There was a time when this thought would completely terrify me, but right now, it seems very manageable and – dare I say – routine.

I was sitting in the back corner of the theater when I realized that this was no longer a case. I have become quite adept at finding a secluded corner, pulling out my homework, and working until my call time. I am a pro at throwing on my stage makeup, sorting through my dance bag (or backpack) and finding costume pieces, and packing enough food for an entire day in less than ten minutes.

Some of this is helped by routine. It’s a definite advantage when I’ve performed this ITC scene five times before, or someone else is calling the cues for sound board. But there is some of this that is new – new songs, new dances, etc.  The Blank Canvas performance in particular is usually terrifying; it’s the 1,000 crowd group in Memorial Hall with the full lights/sounds/works.

As a side note, the more I perform, the less I tend to tell people about it. I’ve been pretty vague about my plans for today, and I think only a few people know that my dance performance is today. I didn’t ask anyone to come, either, mostly because it just doesn’t seem like a big deal right now (even though cognitively I know it is).

I hope I at least get some butterflies in my stomach today. Wouldn’t be a dance performance without them.

Music Racism

On last night’s episode of Glee (Episode 7, “Throwdown,”), Mercedes makes a request that Glee Club sing something that is more “black.”

The situation brings to light some of the many questions that Glee asks us to think about concerning social justice. This week, let’s focus on race.

My first response to Mercedes’ request was to ask what makes music black or white? For Mercedes, it means something hip-hop or R&B, musical forms that are dominated by black musicians. She compares it to broadway showtunes, an industry that has traditionally been dominated by whites (although that has changed drastically).

What’s interesting about Mercedes distinction is that she thinks of music in terms of race. Certain music styles “belong” to certain races, and Mercedes points out that she feels the group is being biased towards one race of music – or what we might define as music racism.

This, of course, is dependent on us agreeing that music can be defined in terms of race. And if music can, can we also describe other things -  like clothing or movies or expressions – as “belonging” to one race?

More questions abound from this. Can people dress/act/speak “across” their race? In Glee, the answer seems to be yes. Later in the episode, Mercedes stands up and declares, “I may be a  strong, proud black woman, but I’m a lot more than that.” She’s a fashionista who wears what she wants with no reference to clothes that might be black or white or anything else. She speaks with a nondistinct American accent in average high school language. In fact, short of her desire to sing black music, Mercedes makes very few comments about race at all.

And yet, she brings it up. “Can we sing something that’s more “black?” Does it make a difference that the person making the request is “black?” What if someone like Finn or Tina or Kurt made the request? Would it stick out as more offensive?

And so Glee has brought up some interesting questions. William McKinley is a high school where it appears that the most commonly associated issues of racism and discrimination have been worked out. People are not being barred from joining Glee Club or being a Cheerio based on race. Glee Club soloist aren’t picked based on skin color.

But some of these tougher questions about race are being asked – and even if Glee is not asking those questions directly, I think there’s  a lot to learn from answering them.

QUESTIONS WORTH PONDERING (and answering in comments!)

1) Can music, movies, clothes, or speech “belong” to certain races? What makes it that way? What happens when we try and step across those lines?

2) Does it matter who’s making the distinction? What if Finn, Tina, or Kurt made the request to sing “black” music?

3) Do you see this happening in your life? What do you think about it? Should it be stopped?

As I am having a very stressful week, I thought it would be helpful to focus on some of the facts and myths I have learned about stress. Some of this is life experience, some of it I’ve absorbed from the sheer amount of time I spend around Counselling, Health, and Wellness people.

The more things you do, the more stressed you are -FALSE

I am constantly told that if I just “do less,” I would be less stressed. Now, maybe if I had fewer things on my to do list, I would have fewer things to stress over. But I’d also be bored – and boredom, in my sphere, leads to obsessing about the small stuff to the point of being stressed.

In short – how much I do has little to do with my actual stress level. “Doing too much” is a factor of time management, learning to say no, and knowing your own limits – all of which pertain to (but do not cause) stress.

Some people just “like” being stressed -TRUE-ISH

As strange as it sounds,I truly believe there are some people who stress about the smallest things because it makes them feel productive and/or on top of things. It can also contribute to feeling “in charge” or “in the loop.” This is a factor that I have operated on unsuccessfully and continue to watch myself for.

Stress makes you more productive – ?????

Sometimes?! I think this one depends on what you’re stressing over. For some things (example: writing a short paper), the most efficient way for me to get it done is to wait until the last minute, let the pressure build up, and then knock it out when my energy is racing and my brain is freaking out. Other assignments (example: 20 page research paper), stress makes me physically and emotionally ill to the point of hurting my productivity.

Once I’m stressed,  I can’t stop until I’m finished – FALSE

Breathe. Walk away. Your creativity and productivity is often higher after taking short breaks, and when those step it up, the stress gets pushed down I recommend one of the three “creativity-inducing” activities for stress-breaks: (1) sleeping, (2) go underwater (shower/rain/etc.), or (3) movement (by vehicle or exercise)

Other people stress me out – TRUE-ISH

I used to think that it was just certain situation/people combinations, but then I started to see that some people just make me stressed, no matter what the situation is. Sometimes it’s because of their physical presence (or way of talking), sometimes it’s just they’re so awesomely famous I get nervous.

It’s cool or popular to be stressed – FALSE

For some reason I will never understand, it became popular/cool in middle and high school to be stressed over academics/sports/family/extra-curriculars/etc. Stress meant you were  hard worker, overachiever, destined to go places. Needless to say, this created a lot of high-stressed students, which was not necessarily a productive environment to grow up in.

What are your stress facts/myths? I’d love to hear them…leave comments below!

I’ve bolded the ones I think might be interesting to look at, or ones that I would love to expand on later.

100 Things that I Love

1. Watching the West Wing on DVR
2. Pumpkin coffee
3. skype video chats
4. knitting
5. that moment when my phone rings and I get to see who’s calling
6. playing on a really good computer
7. editing audio
8. working for the HPA
9. checking my email
10. Feeling my brain work in my head
11. writing
12. Chapter Organizer calls
13. Traveling
14. cuddling under blankets
15. cupcakes
16. Sarah Dessen books
17. Harry Potter books
18. walking around NYC looking for broadway tickets
19. wizard rock concerts
20. getting life advice from people i trust
21. rasberries
22. peanut butter
23. ice cream
24. hiking
25. walking through new places and window shopping
26. being tourist-y in DC
27. Glee
28. shopping
29. birthdays
30. snow
31. any time spent in colorado
32. Israel
33. taking pictures
34. looking at pictures
35. coloring
36. making color-coded study sheets
    
37. writing good papers
38. learning
39. polka dots
40. the feeling of believing in change
41. The Muppet Show
42. staying in hotels
43. playing with dogs
44. dancing
45. singing
46. acting
47. debating
48. playing backgammon
49. cuddling
50. taking car trips
51. airplanes
52. watching basketball games at Hillel
53. going to basketball games
54. Halloween costumes
55. meeting new people
56. public libraries
57. winter days with tomato soup
58. performing
59. hugs
60. taking tests and knowing you did really well on them
61. getting out of class early
62. feeling like a five year old
63. dry erase boards
64. sitting around with friends and chatting
65. seeing movies for the first time
66. walking around the disney store
67. knowing every word to a song
68. dishwashers and washing machines
69. orange juice
70. diet coke
71. the five minutes between when you get and bed and fall asleep
72. hanging up pictures
73. moving into a new place and getting rearrange all the furniture
74. making cookies
75. feeling thin
76. Feeling comfortable with myself
77. working out and the after-feelings
78. eating whatever I want because I’m in college and can do that
79. “what’s your dream job?” conversations
80. watching old movies on VHS
81. crying at movies
82. band-aids
83. text messages
84. deja vu
85. hanging out in the newsroom
86. naps
87. talking about harry potter will other people who love harry potter
88. reading really good books
89. organizing events that people want to come to
90. leadership training (teaching and attending)
91. massages
92. meeting people in real life who i’ve gotten to know online
93. seeing people I haven’t seen in a really long time
94. getting my nails done
95. wearing formal dresses when i love what i’m wearing
96. going out
97. feeling alive
98. “owning my space”
99. Cushaw
100. coffee

it became too much to read, and so then I sorted my twitter into columns to make it easier to find the info I wanted to read.

And somewhere in there, I crossed a line from “awesome new social media” to “complicated message device that eats my computer memory and processing time, takes too much time to read, and is very difficult to update and change.”

What used to take so little time now takes too much time. I have a hard time finding hte information I need. And i don’t get twitter ettiquette. Can I stop following someone after I’ve started because they update too much or aren’t sharing important info?

I believe there’s a place on the internet for twitter, and I’m a full fan of people using it for whatever method they want.

But something that used to be so short and easy to read is now the cause of frustration and stress and a time-eating crocodile (think Peter Pan-style). 140 characters at a time adds up fast.

In regards to the gunshot in the outro…

The outro video is awesome and I love the idea of using sound effects and different video each time, but the gunshots seem to spread the message that guns (and the sound they make) are cool…when I think that we might want to spread the message that guns are NEVER cool except in very specific circumstances.

It is a cool sound effect, but I think we’re capable of coming up with some ideas that are just as cool and gun-free. -Karen Bernstein

And I wanted to keep typing on this subject, because youtube limited my comment numbers.

Regardless of personal feelings on gun control (although, yes, I am in favor of gun control), I am a person who believes very strongly that guns are not ever cool. No matter who you are, what your profession is, etc. – it is not cool to shoot a gun (unless, you know, you’re in highly controlled circumstances shooting at something inanimate. And even then, I believe there are equally as good ways to have fun).

The problem with pairing gunshot noises with video that is cool (like the outro video on John and Hank’s two latest videos), is that it creates and perpetuates the idea that the sound (in this case, the gunshot noise) is ALSO cool. And if you do it over and over in an outro of a popular video series, where people are hearing guns and seeing cool video over and over, that association of cool-video-cool-sound grows and strengthens until we start thinking…hey, that gunshot sound is cool!

And it doesn’t stop there. It means when we hear a gunshot in real life, it doesn’t sound quite as bad.

Yes, it’s picky. It’s miniscule. And it might not be “That big of a deal.”

But we are intelligent, caring people with real concerns for our society and our world. And we are creative enough to not have to settle for something like a gunshot when there are so many good sounds in the world that REALLY ARE cool.

And so I challenge the Nerdfighters to come up with something better.

(my vote: the sound of turning a page in a book. Have you ever heard it? It’s magical).

—–

Do you feel the same way about gunshot sounds? Use any medium of social media you like to talk about why, then comment here with a link. Let’s make this a group conversation!

I also tweeted and made a youtube comment on the video respectfully asking John and Hank to change the music. Want to see it change? Let them know! The more voices talking, the louder we all are.

That being cleared up, I have been doing quite a bit of vegan cooking this week.

#1 Stir Fry with Tempe: I usually make this with chicken, but decided to adapt it with tempe that I got from Whole Foods.  I had never had tempe before, and so there was a lot of guessing as to how long to cook it (and how to spice it). It turned out really well, and I had enough leftovers for another dinner and snack/lunch!

#2 Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Icing: The cake tasted more like banana bread, and the icing was (1) really bad and (2) really bitter. I’m not sure why this fell apart at all, but I ended up throwing it out because it was disgusting

#3 Blueberry Banana Pancakes: This was my first time making pancakes completely on my own, and I have to say that after some confusion about how hot the pan needed to be, they came out wonderfully. (I have Abby as a witness on this one)

I’ve also tried a variety of “new” things:

Tempe -loved it

Rice Milk -liked it

Rice Cheese – can’t tell a difference (which surprised me, I had been told that it was gross)

Soy Yogurt -absolutely disgusting

Tofurkey – liked it

———————————————————————————————-
As a part of my creative non-fiction class, I am about to embark on a week of being vegan (coined “Vegan Week” by my roommate). The project is titled “Immersive Journalism,” and in short, it means this:

1. Put yourself in a situation you wouldn’t normally experience
2. Experience it.
3. Write about it.

The #1 on this is very big to me. I am not a vegan. I am not a vegetarian. Although I’m not a huge meat eater, I enjoy milk products immensely. (My two favorite foods are cheese and ice cream).  So this is going to be a challenge (an adventure…but a challenge). Eventually, those adventurous challenges will become an 8 to 10 page piece of creative non-fiction that I will turn in (and hopefully get an A on).

Yesterday, I solicited some advice on twitter from some marvelous people. I received the following advice from Sarah:

focus on all the foods you can eat instead of those you can’t! Make it an opportunity to explore new foods and recipes.

Imagine when I came downstairs this morning and realized that outside of the basics (meat, eggs, dairy products), I didn’t really know what I COULD eat.

So I decided to make a list.

As you can see, I have a lot to learn (I’ve got some books and an internet connection to help). I’ll also be having snack at a vegan-friendly cupcake place later today. But the thing that is most helpful is hearing from all of YOU!

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:
1) Help add the list on the bottom (and make sure what I have ‘s accurate)
2) I’m going grocery shopping today! What should I buy?
3) Are you vegan (or are you not vegan?) I want to hear YOUR stories! Why vegan? Why not?