Performing

I think that performing is becoming so “normal” for me that I no longer get the pre-performance energy jitters before going onstage.

Last night, Nicholas Nickleby Parts I and II opened. I’m the sound board op for Part II, which means I’ve spent most waking minutes of the past week in tech rehearsals. Today is the Fall Showcase for Blank Canvas (meaning I’m spending the whole day in the theater for morning tech, afternoon dress, and evening performance). I get the week off for Thanksgiving, and then it’s back for Nicholas Nickleby (Part I and Part II are in rotating rep, which is what makes the schedule weird), a Sababa gig in Memorial Hall Monday night, an ITC scene Tuesday morning, and more Nickleby. (I’ve also got to write two twelve page papers in there).

I have the privilege of playing many different roles in each of these performances. Sing, Dance, Act, and Tech, for audiences as small as 50 and as big as (gulp) 1,000. There was a time when this thought would completely terrify me, but right now, it seems very manageable and – dare I say – routine.

I was sitting in the back corner of the theater when I realized that this was no longer a case. I have become quite adept at finding a secluded corner, pulling out my homework, and working until my call time. I am a pro at throwing on my stage makeup, sorting through my dance bag (or backpack) and finding costume pieces, and packing enough food for an entire day in less than ten minutes.

Some of this is helped by routine. It’s a definite advantage when I’ve performed this ITC scene five times before, or someone else is calling the cues for sound board. But there is some of this that is new – new songs, new dances, etc.  The Blank Canvas performance in particular is usually terrifying; it’s the 1,000 crowd group in Memorial Hall with the full lights/sounds/works.

As a side note, the more I perform, the less I tend to tell people about it. I’ve been pretty vague about my plans for today, and I think only a few people know that my dance performance is today. I didn’t ask anyone to come, either, mostly because it just doesn’t seem like a big deal right now (even though cognitively I know it is).

I hope I at least get some butterflies in my stomach today. Wouldn’t be a dance performance without them.

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